Words Matter

In just a few days, our family will gather with the Paulk family on a hillside in North Alabama, at a place called SIFAT(Servants in Faith and Technology: www.sifat.org), a camp whose mission and focus is teaching global missions. Our daughter, Laura and her fiancée, Nate, will stand together and exchange those big, important words. Words like for “better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health, to love and to cherish.” Since 1979, I have been standing, facing others, inviting them into the covenant of Christian marriage.

October 10, I will invite Laura and Nate into a new life together.

To stand before my second born child and invite her and Nate to stake their lives on the covenant of Christian marriage brings a new, significantly deeper meaning to the service of Christian marriage. It’s not that I haven’t given thought to those words before. I have. Every time a young couple comes into my life asking me to be a part of blessing their marriage, I wonder how it will be for them. I am mindful of how little we really know of another person when we exchange those words. I’m mindful of the other four people who will live in that household with a couple, albeit unconscious. Parents, who have shaped, loved, taught and sometimes without intention, even wounded. Every time, I’m mindful of family traditions and that this couple will form their own while negotiating time spent with family. I’m hoping each of them has a heavy dose of forgiveness and a deep understanding of compromise.

Next Saturday, I will ask Nathan Paulk to repeat after me: “I, Nate, take you Laura, to be my wife.” I’ll ask Laura to do likewise, “I, Laura, take you Nate, to be my husband." I keep trying to imagine it; so far, I’ve been unsuccessful without a bit of a lump in my throat. Maybe I’ll keep saying the words this week until the lump disappears.

The Paulk’s and the McAlilly’s. A new family. A new journey. Around us will be gathered the people we love. That love will be made real by big words. And words matter.